Gotta Cut Down

I'm in a really bad breastfeeding cycle. The DD is over a year now and I have been taking her to my bed to nurse her almost every night when she wakes up (which is usually within about five minutes after I've finally put my head down on my pillow for the night). I am too tired to sit there and soothe her in her crib, and yet I really don't like nursing for six hours straight, which is what often happens once she ends up in my bed. There are times when I'll soothe her back to sleep without taking her out of the crib or else sometimes I'll entice her with a bottle (please don't let her teeth turn black, please don't let her teeth turn black... well, she's only got two right now anyway). And sometimes I actually pull her out, nurse her, and then stick her back in the crib but none of those methods are very rewarding because she'll usually just wake up again in a matter of minutes and demand more attention -- i.e. me getting out of bed once more. Between constant up and downs or just being sucked on all night, I choose the latter. She's not so into the pacifier anymore, so it's hard to just replace my real live breast for a synthetic one like I used to.

There are a couple of plausible solutions to this problem. The first, which I implement on weekends or vacation days, is to send DH in there. He 'aint got no milk to give her and therefore he can get her back to sleep without tempting her with a breast. Sometimes this backfires, though, and I can hear her screaming becoming louder and more desperate until finally he brings her back to sleep with me.

Plan number two is simply to implement sleep training. I don't know if either of us has the resolve to do this on any sort of regular basis, though we all know it's potentially a small sacrifice for a big reward.

Solution number three is just to start weaning. It may be time. She doesn't seem interested, but I guess she's not the only one making the decision about it. I'll keep all of my faithful readers posted.

Period of Uncertainty

I was sick for a couple of weeks until a few days ago. I wasn't eating much and what I was eating wasn't getting processed so well. It was in that time that I felt I was losing my breastmilk. It was also in that time that I think my menstrual cycle might have started up again. Now I'm feeling better and I'm milkier than ever. Which is good because I'm not ready to wean.
I can tell that she's becoming better fed-- or something-- because she's gone back to spitting up after she nurses. Not much-- and not every time-- but it's something she never quite grew out of. I should ask the doctor about it, I suppose.

New Breastfeeding Patterns At 8 Monhs

Whereas baby used to get hungry at about the same time as I would start to feel full, a different nursing pattern seems to be emerging. The above situation still does happen, but nowadays it's rare that I get overfull until a few minutes after she starts suckling. But then --watch out for your eyes, ladies and gentlemen- the geyser erupts at her beckoning and she gets a mouthful-- or I get a shirt full if she gets distracted and raises her head to check out the commotion that her brother and /or cousins are inevitably making in some other part of the room.

Moving On to Solids I

I remember that the transition to solid foods at six months when I was breastfeeding my DS was very difficult. Imagine-- except for one tiny kick-start of sperm, he's made entirely of me for the nine months of conception and the first half-year outside the womb. Each ounce on his body can trace it's way to me. Now all of a sudden there's this foreign stuff. Food. It's... good. At least, that's the way it was for DS. He took the first spoon of mushy carrots on his half-birthday and there was no looking back.

I was having similar hesitations when it came time today to feed DD her first spoonfuls. I'd gone to the health food store and bought her organic brown rice baby cereal. We chose today for her first solid meal (if you can call baby mush solid) because the whole family was to be together. It didn't go exactly as planned. She took a spoonful of the stuff and spit it out. Same with the next spoonful. I don't think she was so excited for the subsequent spoonfuls. We don't think any of it actually went down. Then I tasted it myself and I can't say that I blamed her. The stuff was downright bitter. I think I'll boil up some of the organic carrots or sweet potato that I bought for her and try that next.

Who Knows Breast?

Who knows best? Mother, of course. Mother knows best about breastfeeding her child. The other day I was at my in-laws. Baby had a very sore bottom from a bad diaper rash. She was crying and uncomfortable. This much was obvious to me, and I was trying to help her through it. I tried nursing her but she wasn't going for it. In the meantime, my in-laws and assorted family members decided that the kid was hungry. The kid was not hungry. Having just released a couple of breasts full of milk into her mouth, I was fairly certain of this. I know her eating rhythms and I just knew she wasn't crying for food. My mother-in-law, who I like very much but who is clinically neurotic-- especially when it comes to feeding her grandchildren -- told me that when she was breastfeeding (nearly 30 years ago and then each time for only one month postpartum) she would give a bottle after every feeding and keep giving bottles until she was sure the baby was not hungry. Most babies I know tell their moms when they're hungry. My husband sure does. I'm sure he didn't ever get a chance to when he was a baby. God bless. This was a whole new frontier for neuroticism.
Anyway, I finally consented to let them give her a bottle of formula. I warned them though that just because she drinks it, doesn't mean she was hungry. It just means she's getting a snack that's sweeter and easier to drink than breastmilk. I think of it as baby candy. They fed her a big bottle and she drank it down, smiling. Two minutes later she resumed her writing and wailing which lasted until I put a soothing ointment on her bottom.
I am really a difficult person to offend, but this whole situation got to me. Who are they to tell me whether or not she'd eaten enough? Her sustenance is derived through my body. I would call that a pretty strong bond. I feel my breasts fill up, I feel them release the milk. Would I question them if they told me they'd just peed? Even my husband was begining to doubt me, and he's usually quite good about these things. In fact, it was his doubt that made me doubt myself and let me decide to allow her a bottle. Next time I'll just stick to what I know-- though the only way to get them off my back and keep the peace was to let them try to bottle feed her. (Maybe they all were having secret maternal urges and just wanted to feed her.) She drinks formula about once a week when I'm working, but when I'm around, I'd much rather she gets fed the old fashioned way. Also, that's how I know when she's had enough.

Nursing Pads

I bought a package with three sets of reusable, washable, non-disposable nursing pads. I use them, throw them in the wash, and supplement with disposable breast pads if I need to. For the most part they're okay and they do they However, I think that if I had to buy some more, I'd go for a higher quality set because these ones are a little harsh against my skin. I'd like a softer, gentler fabric. Oh, and since I'm padding my bra anyway, I'd like one with a rounder cup. The edges of these, like the edges of the disposable pads, stick out and make a funny shape under my shirt, depending on which shirt/bra combination I'm wearing.

Public Nursing: Covering Up

I recently discovered that the best way for me to cover up while I'm nursing is to drape one of these cheesecloth diapers over my shoulder and wrap another one around my middle. This is when I'm just wearing a t-shirt over my bra. There are lots of different techniques. I used to have a fancy schmancy nursing apron but it never really solved the issue of my stomach being exposed. Some people like to wear a tube top under their shirt so that you pull one layer down and pull the other layer up, exposing pretty much nothing but whatever baby needs to suck on. This is a great technique but it's waaay too hot for me to be wearing anything but one layer right now. Another idea I saw in some online video was to wrap a pashmina shawl all around you. I haven't tried this yet, but it sounds like a great idea. I even have a very wide, long scarf that is also a very light material that maybe won't make me and baby break out in a sweat every time it's time for her to eat. I'll let my readers know how that goes.

Dry Nipples and Cream

I am very bad at doing all these girly things like putting lotion on after a shower -- or ever. When I'm pregnant I make a bigger effort with my cocoa butter lotion in order to prevent stretch marks. I know, I know, there's no guarantee-- but I didn't get stretch marks last time. Of course, last time I didn't get nearly as big as I am this time. To give you an idea of how little I use ceram, I've had the same bottle of Palmers since we got married and now we're on our second kid. Do the math yourself. I bought another bottle when I was pregnant last time but it's still sitting new in my cupboard. And I don't only use it during pregnancy. I used it on my face in the winter when the heaters and the breastfeeding were making me so dry that I felt like my face was cracking off.
Back to my nipples. The point is, they're dry and cracked. I don't think it's thrush but I don't want to take the chance. But I also don't feel like putting lotion on. Truth is, I just plain forget all about it. Who thinks about dry nipples until they take their shirt off. And if I'm taking my shirt off, I'm probably on my way to bed and I don't have the energy for nipple rubbing, or else it's morning and I have better things to do, like chase after my DS to get him dressed for kindergarten. I guess we'll just have to wait and see if this clears itself up like it did last time. Actually, maybe I was a little more diligent about it last time. I recall using baby oil or something. Or was that on my itchy scalp?

Nursing Pads

I just saw an article that recommends getting the cotton nursing/bra pads instead of the disposable kind because they're softer. Well, I have better reasons than that. A couple of times, after a particularly leaky or sweaty night, DS looked up from my breast into my tired face and breathed out a mouthful of cotton. Those things disintegrate! Especially the cheap ones. Not only that, but the reusable ones are, of course, more environmentally friendly than their disposable counterparts.

I also recommend bringing the nursing/bra pads to the hospital with you. You never know how long you're going to be there and your milk might come in, as mine did, with a vengance. I only had a couple of shirts with me (I snubbed hospital gowns after wearing them for the first couple of days) and they both got real stinky real fast. I had a lot of leakage when I was nursing. He'd be eating from one and the second one would leak like a dyke with a hole in it. Or I'd be just one minute too late getting my nursing bra loose and I'd have two geysers sprouting from my chest. Nursing pads were my saving grace in those first few months. I was never without them.