Breast Biting Has Begun

She doesn't have any teeth yet, but wowsers, does she have a solid set of gums. I guess you can't really say that she's biting my nipple but just imagine someone trying to squeeze the last bit of toothpaste out of a tube-- using a laundry wringer. That's what I feel like. The laundry. Ouch!

Milk From Another Mother - Reflections on Wet Nursing

I nursed another baby today. I never thought I would do that. My sister-in-law left for her sister's wedding in New York. The original plan was to take the baby -- a two-month old (or three? Three.) with her but for various reasons she ended up leaving her behind. She'd had bottles before; many times, in fact. She also regularly takes a pacifier. But for some reason, she was refusing to take it this morning, and that's when I walked in the door. I found the ladies of the house fretting and fussing and the baby howling and covered in formula. I tried my hand at feeding her with the bottle but to no avail. The kids wouldn't suck. So I did what I guess is instinctive. I lifted up my shirt. And the house fell silent. She ate. And ate. She must have been hungry. My own baby was sleeping in her bassinet, and anyway she's old enough for solids. So when she woke up it was solids for her. Powdered barley cereal followed by an avocado.

I didn't really like nursing another child. It has nothing to do with this particular kid. I'm just attached, I guess you could say, to my own suckling. It wasn't a nice feeling for me during or after. I realize I'm doing a nice thing and actually it would have been kind of cruel of me to refuse but I don't have to like it. I feel bad for the kid. Part of nursing is about bonding and being held and feeling close and warm. I do like the kid. After all, she's my niece and she's a pretty cute kid-- what's not to like? She smiles. She smiles at me. She's nice. But she's not mine and I was rather uncomfortable nursing her and so I felt bad that the baby should be nursed by someone whose heart was not completely into it. I also am very possessive, even about my breast milk and I was silently apologizing to DD in my head for sharing it.

I was still there when my niece woke up a few hours later. Ioffered to go out and get another formula for her to try out. Maybe that was the problem. I suggested that we try feeing her while she was still calm and before she got really hungry and frantic. Neither of these plans worked. As soon as we put the bottle to her, she opened up her mouth and howled. She refused the bottle in any way shape or form and so I fed her again. My baby had formula.

Later on in the evening my niece was looking at me from her baby chair. Flirting, my mother in law called it. Seducing me.

When by brother-in-law came home he managed to give her a bottle, thankfully. Apparently she's used to taking it from him.

We're home now and my mother in law just called to so say that DH forgot his cell phone there and, by the way, the baby was howling....

My baby is now asleep. Probably not for the night. But what choice do I have? I'm going to have to go back and feed the other.

The Big Leak

I had a big leak today while teaching. I had to run to the classroom next door and borrow the teaching assistant's scarf to cover up the to huge wet spots on my bosom. My nipples were busting through my bra, t-shirt and thin sweater I was wearing. It got pretty uncomfortable for me. My boobs haven't been this rock hard in a long time. I don't think any of the students noticed or if they would even recognize it for what it was if they saw it. I don't even wear nursing pads that often anymore. Goes to show... you never can tell. Worst thing is that I had to hang around after work for an extra hour because of a staff meeting. BOY, was I glad to see DD when I got home. She was sleeping but she managed to make me feel a lot more comfortable even in her dream state.

Sucking on the dyke: The Leak Is Back

Last night she slept for six hours straight. Then she woke up, had a couple of sips and fell back asleep. Three hours later, I had to wake her up to eat. I haven't that that rock-hard breast feeling since the DS breastfeeding days when I was constantly overfull of breast milk and leaking like a geyser. I thought that I would be able to shatter glass if I aimed my high-pressure nipples at the sliding doors and let the milk rip. It hurt, too. Things hurt a lot worse with my last breastfeeding experience. This time I only really get breast pain when I'm overfull.

Pain In My Nipple

When I was breastfeeding DS starting nearly two years ago, I remember there being a lot of pain involved. It would hurt when he nursed for the first couple of minutes and then it would be okay. But it really hurt. I remember cringing and trying to explain the sensation to DH. I think it was because DS was such an efficient nurser. I mean, the kid was a sucking machine. When he was done, there was not a spot of milk left in a ten kilometer vicinity. With this new baby, she's a lot more lazy about eating, as far as I can tell. She also doesn't seem to care about it quite as much, though lately she is starting to ask for the nipple as a soother and not just for food. What she'll do is prime the pump and then hang out and catch the resulting spray and swallow that. I can tell when my supply is running low because then she actually has to suck. And back to the title of this post, it never hurt me when she was nursing until recently. And what started the pain was not her but the breast pump. Until I first used it, I had no sensation whatsoever. Now I've got a pain on one side but the other side is OK. It's not the same pain I experienced in the last round of breastfeeding like it was with DS. This is much more mild and tolerable. What's consistent is the feeling that the pain would go away if I would simply give it time to heal. Of course, that's impossible. I need to keep using it. I can handle it, though.