Slowly Weaning

I'm managing to slowly wean DD off of breastfeeding -- I think.

One significant improvement is that I don't nurse her all night long anymore. We simply don't take her out of the crib when she wakes up and, though every single pediatrician and dentist out there would recommend against this, we give her a bottle in bed to help her go back to sleep. Usually she just takes a few slurps and is out again.

So when do I still nurse her? Well, during the day if I'm around and she gets hurt-- i.e. pushed over by her brother or trips over my feet or simply not getting enough attention, she'll always want to come over to me for a little nibble. And there's very little I can do to distract her from this. She'll keep crying and moping and fighting for the breast until she gets it. Once she's on, however, she'll pretty easily be distracted by some exciting thing that her brother is doing and she'll forget all about me and my milky appendages.

I also often nurse her in the mornings. Once it gets to be around 6am or later and if she wakes up crying, DH will bring her over to me or else I'll just give up and bring her to bed. Sometimes she'll fall asleep again but often she'll drift in and out until... you guessed it.. her brother does something to distract her and then our day has begun.

Gotta Cut Down

I'm in a really bad breastfeeding cycle. The DD is over a year now and I have been taking her to my bed to nurse her almost every night when she wakes up (which is usually within about five minutes after I've finally put my head down on my pillow for the night). I am too tired to sit there and soothe her in her crib, and yet I really don't like nursing for six hours straight, which is what often happens once she ends up in my bed. There are times when I'll soothe her back to sleep without taking her out of the crib or else sometimes I'll entice her with a bottle (please don't let her teeth turn black, please don't let her teeth turn black... well, she's only got two right now anyway). And sometimes I actually pull her out, nurse her, and then stick her back in the crib but none of those methods are very rewarding because she'll usually just wake up again in a matter of minutes and demand more attention -- i.e. me getting out of bed once more. Between constant up and downs or just being sucked on all night, I choose the latter. She's not so into the pacifier anymore, so it's hard to just replace my real live breast for a synthetic one like I used to.

There are a couple of plausible solutions to this problem. The first, which I implement on weekends or vacation days, is to send DH in there. He 'aint got no milk to give her and therefore he can get her back to sleep without tempting her with a breast. Sometimes this backfires, though, and I can hear her screaming becoming louder and more desperate until finally he brings her back to sleep with me.

Plan number two is simply to implement sleep training. I don't know if either of us has the resolve to do this on any sort of regular basis, though we all know it's potentially a small sacrifice for a big reward.

Solution number three is just to start weaning. It may be time. She doesn't seem interested, but I guess she's not the only one making the decision about it. I'll keep all of my faithful readers posted.

Enough

DD, God bless her, recently decided that the only way she will agree to be soothed is to nurse. I think that part of it is that she's been with 2 different caregivers recently besides me, which is a routine we're going to be starting for this school year. Or it might possibly be her new way to stake a claim to mommy. She is highly competitive with her brother over my attention. When they're both playing independently --or together, for that matter --and he gives her a swipe or even if she just has her own little fall, she'll come crying to me to be nursed, and it's very hard to get her to let go of me after that. It's not that I don't love holding her and it's not that I don't feel privileged to be soothing her, it's just that it's not always easy for me to stop whatever I'm doing to sit down and nurse.

I'm considering quitting nursing altogether. In some regards, I think our lives would be easier without it. Then at least my husband could comfort her on some nights instead of the job always falling to me (though he does try, to give him credit.)

Also, I've pretty much sworn off nursing bras for now. The ones I own are terrible-- I should really do a blog post on that alone. I've been wearing my normal ones that actually look presentable under a t-shirt.

The funniest thing is that, as a nursing infant - a suckling-- she wasn't so into it. I mean, she was not nearly as enthusiastic a nurser as DS was. Now all of a sudden she wants it constantly.

Underwire Again

I've given up on nursing bras for now. I'm still breastfeeding but a lot less now. I never invested in any good nursing bras and they don't look good under any of my clothes. Not buying decent bras was a mistake I made with baby 1 and which continued to my second child. I worry about ruining the shape of my regular bras, and I don't think it's as comfortable for DD but at least I can wear t-shirts again.

The Baby-Backed Flip-Flop

I am mostly nursing at night now. Which basically means that I nurse when DD wakes up and I cant (read: haven't the energy to) coax her back to bed. Which means that I spend a lot of my sleeping hours getting sucked on. Now, usually, or at least this was the case with my DS and in the early days of DD, I'll decide when to switch them from one side to the other. Usually I do the switch when I'm tired of lying on that particular side and I need a change. Or sometimes it's because I feel the pressure in the other breast or else that the milk in breast 1 is running out.
What's cute is that DD now does the switching for me. I don't know what prompts it; whether it's the same reason as me, that she is uncomfortable lying on one side for so long, or if it's also because of a low milk supply on that side. Whatever the reason is, when she decides to go for breast 2, she will abandon the side she was nursing on and climb over me to lay her head on the other breast. She gives me a little head-butt if I'm not paying attention or if I am not getting her message. 'Aah, aah' she says and nudges me a bit to get me going.

Nursing to Sleep No More

I can't really seem to nurse her to sleep anymore. Well, at least it doesn't seem to be working every time like it used to. Now I actually have to work on it.
She's always been kind of a restless nurser. Well, I shouldn't say 'always' because I don't always remember exactly-- that's why I keep this blog. But at least in recent months she'll suck suck suck and then trash and root around a bit until I redirect her. I don't remember DS ever doing that back when he was nursing. Different kid, different style, I guess. Also, just when I think she' asleep, she'll be suck suck sucking and then she'll pop up so we're face to face and give me an ear-to-ear grin with her big trademark 'aaaaahhhh'.
I just put her to sleep now not by nursing her (though that was the prelude) but by just waiting until she was tired enough and then snuggling up with her, forehead to forehead. She'll watch me and sometimes try to catch my eye and smile flirtatiously but eventually she drifted off to dreamy dream land.
Good night, little one.

Formula One

I havent' been giving her a lot of formula at all since she was born. It was mostly once a week in the beginning when I was working. Now that she's eating she just gets fed solids when I'm gone. (she's eating real solids now-- chicken! She loves it. Even though she still has no teeth.)
The thing is that she doesn't sleep really well. That is, unless she's in bed with me. She can usually make it on her own up to about midnight or one a.m. but then she wants to cuddle and nuzzle. We are not good at keeping her in her bed because we don't want her to wake up the other people in the house, especially her big brother. That's just our logistical situation right now. So she ends up with me for at least part of every night. I can't even get her to nap without nursing her or driving her around and even that doesn't necessarily work anymore.
There was one occasion when I put her in her crib with a bottle of formula-- I don't remember why -- and when I checked back on her she'd fallen asleep with her pacifier in her mouth. There happened to be one next to her. I tried that today, hoping to get the same result but it was a no-go. She's still awake but at least she's playing independently behind me. I might try to train her to go to sleep with a bottle, though. It would save me a lot of time lying down with her and trying to get her to sleep that way.
I'm not crazy about the idea of formula. I'm not crazy about feeding her straight chemicals out of a can. But I know I fed DS formula once a day starting around this age-- or maybe a little later. It was a supplement to give me a break and to make sure he was rounding up his nutrients now that he'd begun a more solid routine of solids.